No One
by MiaMoyes
Summary: No one can figure out what is going on with Stephanie Plum... Maybe you can figure it out in this two-shot story.
1. Chapter 1

No one knew what to make of Stephanie Plum these days. There have not been any car bombings in months, all of her skips made it back to jail without her looking like a disaster in just as long as it has been for the car bombings and now it seems as if she is sporting a little smile along with a gold band on her left ring finger. No one in the 'burg, Trenton PD or the bonds office knew she was dating anyone, let alone got married.

The list of candidates of potential husbands were few and far between; it couldn't be Joe Morelli because he was dating Terri Gilman after Stephanie and his latest big blow out fight where they each went their separate ways. It could not be Ranger Mañoso because he has been gone for the past six months. No one thought it could be one of those thugs at RangeMan, because it is known on the streets that Stephanie was Ranger's woman. Who else would be interested in this catastrophe of a woman, no one that any one knew and no one that anyone wanted.

The 'burg grapevine couldn't get any information out of the Plums; they didn't have any to share. Stephanie walked away from their house not to return due to one too many 'why me' dinners at her parents house. Frank Plum often went to the lodge, he was sad that he is now left out of the loop of his pumpkins life, if only he had stood up for her one time he would still be in her life. Helen Plum was so taken back by the lack of control she had over her daughters disastrous life she is now openly seen drinking from the bottle of whiskey, even while she shops at the grocery store. Edna Mazur, even though she loves her granddaughter, she had no juicy bits of the 411 on Stephanie, nor has she gotten to pinch those fine rear ends of those RangeMen. Valerie Kloughn was so wrapped up in her own life that she never stuck her nose out of her own ass to see that her sister wasn't apart of dinners at the Plum's house.

Even her so-called friends dumbfounded on what is going on with Stephanie Plum, they all got together to swap Stephanie stories early on Monday morning while Stephanie slept in. Stephanie never knew that they were the key people in feeding the gossips around town. Connie, Mary-Lou, Lula and Eddie would have coffee cake over at Mary-Lou's house to talk about the latest and greatest. However, the past four months there has been limited information so they have upped the get together to twice a week to go over any and every bit of gossip they have heard.

Connie and Lula don't see Stephanie anymore at the bond's office since Vinnie took over handling of her files and checks to her. Lula thought it would be a great idea to tail Vinnie to see how and when this all transpires. Maybe if she see Stephanie she can con her into getting some Cluck-in-the-bucket with her and get the low down on white girl. Unfortunately for Lula this did not go over to well since she lost Vinnie when he went to the feed store out Chesterfield Township. Lula knew that he wasn't going to meet Stephanie that day, because no one would be seen with Vinnie anywhere that close to live stock.

Some people were starting to question whether she was actually married, because again, who would want Stephanie she's a mess. However, those thoughts were that of the jealous women in Trenton that wanted a piece of ether RangeMan or of Morelli, usually that was one person and one person only who spread that rumor and it was Joyce Barnhart. She thought that Stephanie bought the ring so that she wouldn't look like the loser she is and old maid that she will become. Because if Stephanie was married, Joyce surely was going to get some of that action, she had before and she will again.

So now the good people of Trenton were at a loss of what was going on in the life of their Bombshell the Bounty Hunter. No one knew but she sure did look happy.

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A/N: Just a quick two-shot that went through my scheming 'what if' mind! Characters belong to Janet.


	2. Chapter 2

Hubby POV

I know the streets of Trenton are in an up roar on what has been going on in my wife's life. They think that I am a figment that she really isn't married, that no one would want to be married to the Bombshell the Bounty Hunter. And they are right about that, I don't want to be married to that nickname for her, I want Stephanie née Plum. I want all of her, the good, the bad, the stubborn and the crazy.

She has always been a part of my life, in the past four months she has been apart of my soul. I was there to pick her up after that dinner with her family, I was so proud of her when she walked away from all of that nagging and criticizing.

When she learned of her friends' entertainment of her life, my wife picked up her head to stepped away from their toxic friendships.

With the help of me and some of the men at RangeMan, she has gotten better equipped at dealing with the scum that we deal with. Not only physically, boy oh boy is she physical now makes a man hard for days thinking of how hot his wife's body is, but she is also mentally prepared, damn if that doesn't make me even harder for my wife then the physical part.

Hold on for a second I need to go find my wife for a few hours….

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Next day xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Sorry, about that folks, once I had my wife in my arms I couldn't help but to show her how much I love her. Because my love her is so great it last all night long and into the day today.

You are probably wondering what the wedding was like especially since no one in Trenton knows about it. I told her I would give her the wedding of her dreams and all my wife wanted was us on the beach.

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts of my spectacular wife; thankfully, it was ok because it was her at the door.

"Hey, are you ready to go? If we don't hurry up then Pino's is going to close and YOUR baby wants a meatball sub." I just turned and flashed her my 200-watt smile.

You are probably wondering when we got married; see everyone thought I was 'in the wind' six months ago. However, I am done with having to go 'in the wind'; I am done with my contract with the military. I thought I should take a vacation to figure out if I was able to have a relationship with my Babe at the beginning of this new part of my life. I wasn't sure if I could, I thought I was too damaged and would mar her soul. I never wanted to hurt my babe and when I came back from my vacation and told her exactly how I was willing to scarifies my own happiness to ensure that my harden soul wouldn't damage hers she went into rhino mode. Told me that I wasn't just sacrificing my happiness but hers too. Less than 24 hours and we were married! If you want, any more details than that and I will have to kill you if I tell you. Now it is time to go feed my Babes!

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A/N: Just a quick two-shot that went through my scheming 'what if' mind! Characters belong to Janet.


	3. Chapter 3

We all knew that Ranger Mañoso was back in town when his Porsche pulled up to Pino's. We were somewhat surprised to see him help Stephanie Plum get out of the car. However, it wasn't until that they walked into Pino's hand in hand that the rest of the occupants all inhaled at the same time. Ranger was wearing a wedding ring too.

HOLY SHIT! Ranger married Bombshell the Bounty Hunter!

They headed towards the back of the restaurant to get a table. He sat down with his back to the wall so that he could keep an eye on all of us. He gave a glare to tell us to mind our own business but really, he's here in the 'burg with Stephanie. What does he expect? We will stare, we will gossip, we will discuss this and any other bit of information we find out to the nth degree, it's what we do it's who we are.

Surprisingly Stephanie never acknowledged us, she didn't look towards us as she sat next to her, husband? That is going to take some getting use to, Stephanie Mañoso, we were all wondering if she would take his name or not, I guess one of the guys will probably set up a book on that, odds are that she wont. She's too independent, she never married Joe Morelli when we all knew that she should, it's what a good 'burg girl does.

So here she is with the man of mystery and it seems as the mystery is still going strong. Where did they get married? Why did he marry her? Pity? When did they get married? Hasn't he been gone for six months? Too many questions and we don't know where to get the answers from.

After a few minutes the chatter resumes as customers of Pino's go back to their conversations, all while keeping an eye on the couple in the back.

Those closest to the table get to hear the interaction between the newlyweds:

Stephanie to the server: "I'll have a meatball sub and a coke."

Ranger to Stephanie: "Babe"

Stephanie sighs then talks to the server again: "Ok I'll have a meatball sub a VERY SMALL side salad with lots of dressing and water."

Stephanie to Ranger, with a humor shown on her face: "Better Batman?"

Ranger to Stephanie: "Better for you Babe and our little Babe."

She just rolls her eyes, as has been trained of her by the 'burg: "Whateva"

Ranger to server: "Large salad, with oil and vinegar on the side plus a bottle of water."

Stephanie to Ranger: "Seriously Ranger, I'm going to have to be the one to show our junior the joys of food. You are not allowed to dictate your twigs and berries culinary cuisine on our child, that is food torture and it's so not gonna happen!"

Ranger to Stephanie, with a smile: "Time to start talking compromise because I wont let you corrupt our junior to your sugar and carb infested that will end up killing you both and that is NOT gonna happen. I just got you and now our little one and I refuse to let anything happen to either of you."

Stephanie to Ranger, she just sighs into his side: "Deal, we will figure it all out I'm sure we still have a few more months till he/she is here."

The wavy of information over the booths seats was increasing in speed and volume until it got to the window when you could hear it all accumulate into one loud response. "WHAT THE FUCK?"

We all sat back to watch the Italian Stallion ramp up with rage and storming over to the new couple ready to unleash his fury. Again, those closest to the table knew to take out their cell phones to get ready to record the fight that was brewing.

Morelli stomped to the Mañoso's table: "WHAT THE FUCK? You're married to him and you're having his devil spawn?"

Stephanie looked up to Morelli and spoke calmly: "Noneya"

Morelli responded: "WHAT?"

Stephanie spoke again but this time a bit louder: "None of your or anyone else's business, so NONEYA"

Morelli jaw just hung loose.

Stephanie took the moment to wave down their server: "Hey can we get our order to go as soon as possible, please? We appreciate it."

This shook Morelli out of his stupor: "What do you mean it isn't anyone's business, what will your mother say, me you are suppose to marry ME, your friends, and the 'burg? You are all of our business; you know this is how it is and how it has always been."

Ranger stood up and offered his hand to his wife while she spoke to all of us: "What may have always been is NOT how it is going to be for now on. This is my last meal I will eat here at Pino's, the last time I step foot in the 'burg and if need be the last time I will be in Trenton. I will raise our child to be whomever he or she wants to be so you all; friends, family, Joe and the 'burg and GO FUCK YOURSELVES!"

Ranger threw money on the table grabbed their food and they both left for good! RangeMan pulled out of Trenton and moved their office to Philadelphia. Where we hear that Stephanie and Ranger had twins a girl and boy, but no one has seen any of them since that one afternoon in Pino's.

THE END!

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A/N: Just a quick two-shot that went through my scheming 'what if' mind! Characters belong to Janet.

A/N 2: After reading all of your reviews I thought I would throw this chapter out there, the story is done, I swear! I have too many other stories in work (and love each of them) to continue on than this one 'what if' that ran through my thoughts earlier this week!

A/N 3: Thank you for each and every review, favorite and follow! Y'all make a grown woman extremely happy and almost cry over the support you show me! And I can't to send a shout out to my chief supporter Margaret aka whymelucylu, no matter what you are always there for me… even when I am frustrating you when I can't decided who the hubby is and teasing you with all of my what if ideas! 3


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